Practice Saying This: "Thank You"

Saying "thank you" still works in what seems to me to be an increasingly nasty and less mannerly public and private sector.

Manners are necessary in several directions. Customers need to learn to say please and thank you. Rude, demanding and uncaring far too often seem to dominate.

And on the other side of the equation, I don't know if working with the public is at an all time low, but service manners often seem similarly poor, disengaged or insincere. You may agree or disagree.

But I will tell you what is the grease that keeps the wheels of industry - private or public, for profit or not - moving. It's recognizing what someone has done and saying, "Thank you" for it. A simple thank you can go a long, long way to motivating people to keep going and do well.

Leaders and executives ... practice saying this ... Thank you; Great job; Really appreciate what you did here. Thanks for doing this.

A 2007 Smart Business article titled Thanks is worth a re-read. According to a then referred to study:

... 35 percent of workers and 30 percent of chief financial officers (CFOs) cite frequent recognition of accomplishments as the most effective nonmonetary reward.

People consider saying thank you a reward. I realize it's not the only motivator but organizationally you just can't get anything less expensive to implement. The harder part will be making the organizational attitude adjustment. But just start personally. Appreciation is infectious.

If you happen to be like a leader who told me years ago that you shouldn't have to run around saying thank you to people for what they should be expected to do, you may need an attitude adjustment.

If you are a leader who takes this to heart and wants to use genuine appreciation as one of your best motivational tools ... thanks for reading this.

This Past Week, Four Important Posts

August 24: How to Deal with Resistance to Change

Resisting needed change has destroyed relationships, marriages, families, organizations, companies, programs and nations. Change starts with the individual. On Monday, we provided an 8 step strategy to initiate change. That doesn't mean it will be easy, but it does mean that it is possible. It's going to first of all mean a change of attitude that embraces the new possibilities that change will produce.

August 25: Whose Problem is It?

Knowing who it is that has the problem is the vital first step in finding solutions. Someone else may have projected their problem on you for years. You have lived with the burden of it. No more. If it is their problem, let them live with it. Being released from the guilt or shame will let you establish boundaries,  take better care of yourself and let them know that if they desire solutions, they will have to be the ones to take action and make change.

August 27: What Makes a Good Leader Work with a Coach?

What do great leaders know and practice that the vast majority of other leaders don't? They work with a Coach ... not because they have big problems but because they want to be better prepared to deal with big problems. And not only that, they want to be more aware of opportunity when it shows itself. Coaching for the successful leader is not so much remedial as it is transformational. Thursday's article outlines the top 12 areas that successful leaders and executives have proactively used our coaching .

August 28: An Example of Employee Engagement

On Friday we examined how one company changed their thinking ... and their approach after 50 years. They engaged their employees in the larger context of what the company was doing. It raised a sense of place and contribution. The end result for the company was more engaged and satisfied employees and increased profit. You may have golden ideas hidden in your staff but there is no encouragement or environment to get them out. Achieving employee engagement isn't a 'hope so' exercise. It will require a solid change of culture and attitude. It will require good leadership.

An Example of Employee Engagement

Here's an example of employee engagement that provided a great return on investment. It's from the BDO Dunwoody newsletter article, Tap Into your Staff's Brainpower. It really points out the lurking potential that may exist in your staff, that if harnessed in the right way might unleash a wave of good and profitable results.

The author notes that "companies are just as susceptible to getting stuck in their ways, repeating the same business practices and not realizing that this stagnation prevents reaching full corporate potential."

One such company, having operated much the same for its entire 50 year history were encouraged to have "managers start encouraging their employees to think outside their specific jobs. In other words: Encourage them to start taking a macro look at how their jobs fit into the business structure."

Staff got engaged and ideas started coming in. One such idea actually estimated that a single suggested policy change could save the company at least $100,000 a year. That's pretty significant.

Why didn't it get mentioned before. Probably because the employee saw themselves in a box, thinking only about the one little corner of the operation that was theirs. They were never before encouraged to think bigger, to start seeing what they were doing within the larger context.

Engaged employees can be a gold mine. Never under-estimate what lies buried there.

What Makes a Good Leader Work With a Coach?

What makes a good leader work with a Coach? They have their act together, don't they? They effectively carry out their own work each day, not wasting a lot of time but getting things done. They work well with their staff. The company, organization or division they direct is moving along as well as any other. So why would they think about working with an executive coach? Or why would their organization think of having them engage a coach?

It's simple really. Because they know they can always do better. In fact they want to do better and achieve more. Great leaders are characterized by consistent growth. Stagnation, the status quo, staying on the plateau, these are not in their vocabulary except to be avoided. They believe in and go after personal, professional and organizational growth.

Even though you are doing just fine right now, what would you work on with an executive coach? Where can you grow yourself and your leadership team ever further? What would you like to learn and implement to give you that edge that will translate into greater success? Have you really reached your highest and best potential in each of these areas?

People

• Managing Critical Conversations, Conflict and Confrontation


• Motivating, Leading and Developing Others


• Succession Planning and Grooming for Advancement


• Building Key Relationships – Family, Work, Community

Personal

• Time Control, Managing Stress and Dealing with Burnout


• Meaningful Contribution and Career Satisfaction


• Character Growth and Personal Development


• Changing Possible Career Limiting Behaviors

Process

• Increasing Daily Productivity and Effectiveness


• Planning, Goal Setting and Decision Making


• Fostering Significant Ideas and Projects


• Maximizing Opportunities in Change and Transition

Aware, growing leaders believe they and the organizations they lead can do better and achieve more. They are restless until they see that happen.

Whose Problem Is It?

Really ... Whose problem is it?

Often we carry around someone else’s problem for years as our own. This is reinforced because they tell us it is our problem. The essential question then is, “Who really owns this problem?” Is it theirs or mine? Am I really dealing with the effects of their problem or is it in fact mine? If it is really their personal problem projected on me, then it really is not my problem.

This shift in thinking from it being "my problem" to "their problem" changes everything. It puts history and circumstances in right perspective.  This clarity is important to finding real lasting solutions.

Knowing it is in fact not your problem eliminates guilt feelings and any sense of inferiority or shame. It evokes feeling for the other person and may even lead to new approaches towards helping that person.

Alternately it may mean establishing a clear boundary for the other person that makes it clear they no longer project what it theirs on to you, they no longer throw their trash in your yard. A fence may have to go up between you to protect what is yours.

So ... whose problem is it?

How to Deal with Resistance to Change

We need to understand how to deal with resistance to change. Why? Because many times we do not change, even though we may deep down wish to. We do not achieve those things we wish to achieve because we refuse to let go of our old ways. It's easier to stay where we are than to take those first few steps which will set us on a new course. And so we stay stuck.

Most times it is completely a problem of attitude or thinking, of refusing to take ownership of a new way. Yes, we may need to learn something new or have someone help us to develop a strategy so we know how to move forward but those things can be done. To use those as excuses is really not the point. The fact of the matter is, a change of attitude and thinking is of paramount importance.

Most times “I can't do it” is really not accurate. It is “I refuse to do it”. And until you deal with that attitude of refusal and develop a  “whatever it takes, I will do it” attitude, nothing will change ... in your life, your company or your organization.We are creatures of the comfortable. Even that which is painful can become comfortable, even though it hurts.

If you are challenged in this area, consider these steps.

1. Get assistance. Use a coach. Someone who understands what it is you are trying to achieve and can assist as you begin to initiate this new path.


2. Develop a strategy. Be very clear about what is holding you back and what can move you forward and develop a strategy to address both.


3. Start. Don't make any excuses that you 'have to have this' or 'this has to be done first' or whatever. If you can't start absolutely, completely, start some portion of it.


4. Be held accountable. Give your coach permission to hold you accountable. Have others around you hold you accountable.


5. Provide consequences for going back and rewards for going forward so it becomes more painful to go back on your word and more pleasant to follow through.


6. Persevere until you break through. Go until the new path becomes the accepted and habitual path.


7. Always address resistance thinking. Be very aware of when you are resisting and think about the process that caused you to think that way. Capture the thoughts and discard those which hold you back. Replace them with new thinking that moves your forward.


8. Think of yourself as an implementer, completer, a winner versus a loser or a failure. Change your thinking about yourself and repeat it frequently to counteract all the old negative messages that are probably playing and running through your mind over and over again.

If you want to win the battle of how to deal with resistance to change within yourself, start with these few steps.

Review and Update Your Master Plan

Those who make it a regular practice to review and update their master plan generally have a far easier time achieving their goals. Whether you are a small nonprofit or a large business, knowing where you are going is half the battle and following the plan you have to get there is the other half.

Why is it so common to see individuals and organizations make plans and then let them fall into disuse? Those same individuals and organizations then fall back on muddling along, fighting the daily fires, deviating from the plan and never really getting back to it. The result is ineffectiveness, lack of success and frustration ... not a sign of good leadership.

Once you make your master plan, begin to work it. Stretch your plan out whatever number of years are appropriate to what you are trying to achieve, whether 2 years, 5 years or 20 years.

Review your plan regularly and annually keep extending the plan out another appropriate length of time. Make changes that are deemed appropriate and promptly modify the plan as needed. Change dates and update any projections involved. Keep it current in order to serve you well.

This regular process of review will have you answering the realistic questions that can keep you moving forward. Are we on target? Is this still the direction we want to head? What needs to change?

Are you regularly reviewing and updating your master plan? Is this being done consistently? How extensive is the process? Who needs to be involved?

Why This Practice is Important - If you annually extend your plan out one more year (or whatever the appropriate length of time may be), you will be prompted to keep current in your response to what is going on.

An Expansive Thought - An updated ten-year plan may be more valuable than the remaining three years of a seven year old ten-year plan.

An Action Point - If you don't have one, rough out a 10-year plan covering goals, people and resources.

Leadership Quotes From My Files

Like you, I have a collection of leadership quotes that have impressed me over the years for one reason or another. Since most leaders value reading leadership quotes, here are a few from my files to broaden your perspective and encourage you along the way.  If you provide  everyday leadership ... press on.

“Quiet leaders are realists. They try hard to see the world as it is. This means recognizing, almost as a sixth sense, that all sorts of things can happen and often do. And they happen because people act for all sorts of reasons, virtuous and vicious, clear and muddleheaded, sensible and nutty. Realism in other words, isn’t pessimism or cynicism. It is making ample room for the many ways in which people and deviants can surprise, dismay and astonish.” Joseph Badaracco, Jr., Leading Quietly

“Popularity is not leadership. Results are.” Peter Drucker, The Leader of the Future

"According to some scholars, the four Presidents prior to Abraham Lincoln were "compromise leaders", unwilling to confront the difficult issue of slavery between the North and the South. Then a mature leader with a solid sense of who he was, what he believed and valued - regardless of the consequences, took the Whitehouse. The strength and maturity of his character and conviction in many ways forced the nation to confront the reality of the abomination of slavery. The Civil War followed. The starting point for change in any nation, church or ministry has always been the leader." Peter Scazzero, The Emotionally Healthy Church

"Though credibility can be shattered in an instant, it is earned over time. Very seldom is there the opportunity to make some dramatic gesture that proves your credibility as a leader and makes others loyal to you. Most of the time the relationship builds over time in layers. Keeping promises, leading by example, and listening and responding to the concerns of others
gradually produces loyal, dedicated and productive followers." Michael Miller, The Kingdom Focused Leader

"Many younger leaders realize that authority does not come with a position and a title but that it has to be earned. It is established on the basis of trustworthiness and competence. They understand that leadership emerges as power is shared rather than as authority is exerted. That power may arise from the application of one's area of expertise, but it is based on trust and is reinforced as personal relationships are deepened and extended." Eddie Gibbs, Leadership Next

“All over the world, right at this moment, people are getting tapped on the shoulder. They’re being told that, starting now, they’re going to be in charge of something – a team, a project, an office, a committee, a business unit. It happens. Existing bosses die, move away, get fired, or are abducted by aliens. Some subordinate is asked to step up and take a stab at being boss. Welcome to accidental leadership.” Harvey Robbins, Michael Finley, The Accidental Leader

“Much of your ability to get people to do what they have to do is going to depend on what they perceive when they look at you.” Rudolph Giuliani, Leadership

“As Moms, we get so bogged down in the day-to-day business of raising a family that we don’t feel like leaders of anything, except maybe the cleanup crew. That just isn’t the case. If you have children, you are their leader. Other than God, you are the most important leader they will ever have.” Teresa Bell Kindred, Mom PhD

“If leaders are not aiming at something but are merely responding or reacting to situations as they arise, they have already virtually surrendered leadership. Circumstances or situations are leading the way and effectively determining what is going to be done. The role of the leaders has become a maintenance or an operational one, because their attention is focused on the present and the past, rather than on the future.” Tom Marshall, Understanding Leadership

“Leadership is no picnic. If you are going to learn how to be a good leader, you are going to have to open your mind to new ideas without discarding all of your old ideas. Moving into the future does not mean letting go of everything you have done in the past. It means getting perpetually smarter about how you integrate the old and the new. It means taking what you know about the science of leadership and blending that with the finesse that comes from the art of leadership.” John Beck, Neil Yeager, The Leaders Window

Treating Police Burnout

When it comes to treating police burnout, policing has been referred to as “the most stressful occupation in America.” That according to Hans Selye, one of the world's preeminent researchers on stress.

As a leader, you already know that three high level indicators of stress - alcoholism, divorce and suicide, are all alarmingly present in policing. Much has been studied and written about this.

As an executive in policing you have the opportunity to make an impact in treating police burnout in those you are responsible for.

You already know the background situations that policing professionals face every day. Our aim is to provide a synopsis of possible actions and shifts in attitude that may lessen the number of cases of police burnout.

Here are a few things police can be intentional about promoting, encouraging and acting on.

• Continue to grow as a person. Seek to be mature and avoid being self-centered. Cultivate those characteristics that make up what we now call emotional intelligence – honesty, emotional self-awareness, resilience, good communications, compassion, integrity etc. Don't push those things down because your primary contact with people is in bad situations.


• Develop your character. Pay attention to it. Stay sensitive to what you are feeling. Stay sensitive to what others are feeling.


• Let go of what people say to you or about you. Their comments reflect their problem, not yours.


• Don't stuff emotions inside. Talk with others about what you see and experience. Stress is cumulative unless dealt with. Deal with the accumulation of daily stress ... daily. Otherwise what gathers in your daily job is brought home. Don't take out stress on those within your own home.


• Find positive ways to address stress each day. This is one of the keys to treating police burnout.Who we are does not consist of bits and pieces that can be isolated from each other. Your body's reaction to stress does not stop to ask whether it is job related or personal. It's just stress ... related to you as a whole person. Incorporate holistic strategies.


• Understand the vast majority of the public respect you and what you do. They are absolutely grateful for you. They don't want you to be another cop burnout statistic. They want you healthy and well in every way.


• Find a means to deal with anger and frustration in healthy ways. Participate in group sports, work out. Expend energy. You already know it will have all sorts of benefits.


• Love your spouse. Actively look for ways to romance them. Make your own personal growth as a husband or wife one of your highest challenges so you can make loving your spouse your highest priority. Be intentional in working on this area.


• Do not drink for escape. We are told alcoholism is high with far too many over-stressed officers. You may need to avoid drinking altogether to be safe.


• Remind yourself every day that you are creating an environment where people can work and play and do well.


• You are not your job. You have a passion to see good things happen, but whether or not they do does not affect the fact that you are a great person. You are valuable by creation, not by occupation.


• Cultivate friendships outside the force. Go out with other couples not connected with policing. Talk about other things. Go with your spouse to his or her events.


• Don't let a feeling of superiority creep in. Yes, you have a lot of street smarts others don't have. But they are wise in unique areas you are not. Benefit from their wisdom as well.


• Cultivate balance. You are mostly with people at their worst. Spend time with people at their best, doing positive things which contribute to their families and communities. Let the good around you be the greater influence.


• Continue to be bothered when injustice occurs. Don't become callous to being passionate about wrong behaviors.

If we are going to decrease law enforcement burnout these are the simple things that have to be paid attention to.

Coaching to Address a Leader's Performance Problem

Here are 8 steps to best use coaching to address a leader's performance problem.

In today's environment, every member of the leadership team needs to be functioning at their best. Dismissal and replacement is costly, finding star players even more so. Coaching has proven to be a cost effective intervention in returning critical contribution leaders to full form.

While much less leadership or executive coaching today is remedial, occasionally there is a need to address sagging performance. There may be several contributing factors to explain why a leader isn't doing as well as expected. Coaching will give them the opportunity to address their behavior and begin once again to move in a more positive and contributory direction.

1. Have a conversation with the the leader, expressing your belief that they have the capacity to change their behavior in order to improve their performance. Otherwise you wouldn't be suggesting that they work with a coach. Be very clear about those things which you wish to see addressed and gain their agreement to work with a coach.


2. In determining the appropriate professional, have a complete and candid conversation with the coach, outlining the objectives you are seeking the leader to accomplish and any other expectations that you have of the coaching engagement. Discuss confidentiality and reporting. Make sure you understand the coach's ways and means of tracking and addressing the client's progress. Talk about how you will be kept informed and how the coaching agreement is structured. Discuss the value and administration of any useful assessments.


3. Have a three-party meeting: yourself, the leader and the coach. Review the objectives, putting on record those things that you wish the leader to work toward. Allow the coach to outline the nature of the relationship. Make sure all three of you agree on the game plan for moving forward. Express your confidence in and support for the leader.


4. Let coaching have its effect. Most change takes some time. Good coaching and the results it produces are not forced. It works by helping the person see themselves and their situation clearly and knowing what to do next to advance personal, professional and performance goals. During the engagement the client will get over a critical hump. They will become clear about what needs to happen and they will begin to gain momentum from there on in.


5. Engage the leader in a periodic review to assess how they feel they are doing with coaching. Talk with them about the progress they feel they are making. Discuss their plans for their ongoing committment. Fill out any observation and tracking forms that the coach has suggested. Review those with the leader and send them to the coach. They agreed to pursue certain objectives and where you see progress it is only right that you nurture it and let the leader know that you have observed that progress in them.


6. Toward the end of the engagement, it is time to make a determination if the return that you are getting warrants the continuation of coaching. Perhaps the leader has improved performance and surpassed expectations and with the benefit of coaching could achieve even more. In this case the return on investment warrants continued coaching.


7. From any administered assessments, seek to understand the behavioral style of that leader, how you can best communicate with them, motivate them and assist them to develop latent capacity for further responsibility. Have the coach help you understand this critical leadership development information.


8. Adopt a coach approach with this leader, where you will periodically meet to review their personal development goals. Learn from the coach how to use a 'coach approach' with this leader. Learn how to ask good questions that can give them greater clarity and further momentum. The 'coach approach' is best learned by being coached yourself. So this may be an opportune time for you to engage coaching for your own growth and the greater benefit of the organization. Never assume that you have arrived and that you have no further capacity for growth, creative thinking and even better planning, execution and action.

Thinking Through the Really Tough Decisions

Leaders make hard decisions all the time. We have to. It comes with the territory. But I venture to say that most leaders wrestle with thinking through the really tough decisions.

Whether in life, work or leadership, really tough decisions are tough for a reason. They are emotionally charged. That is, they are made up of both facts to be considered and emotions to be felt. Neglect either and the after-decision reality will probably be less than satisfying.

Neglect the facts and you get an emotional problem to deal with later. Facts are facts and they don't and won't change. A decision that doesn't deal with things as they are but neglects them, oversteps them or disregards them will result in less than satisfying results. Much of the original pain or problem will still exist because there was a far larger emotional component to it than physical. And that emotional magma will eventually rise to the surface ... and you will have to deal with it head on.

Neglect the feelings and you get a feeling-fueled factual problem to deal with later. It may come in the form of resistance, criticism, rebellion or sabotage. Whatever form it takes, however overt or subtle, passive or active, there will be a real problem to deal with. Emotions may be the fuel but real physical problems will be the result.

The Options for Tough Decision Making

1. Abdicate Responsibility. Pretend there is no problem and therefore no decision to be made.This is the stick your head in the sand routine. Hope it will go away.


2. Act without regard to the facts. Let emotions run rampant. Fail to think the situation through. Fail to isolate fact from emotional presumption and proceed based on how you feel at the moment. This is the illogical routine.


3. Act without regard to feelings. Stuff your feelings way down deep. Dig in and neglect to acknowledge anyone else's feelings. Look only at the facts and make a calculated decision. (Problem is that none of us are unbiased. We try to be but we aren't. We give greater weight to our feelings about the situation and this causes stress, judgment and misfires.) This is the insensitive routine.


4. Weigh the facts and the feelings, then proceed. Always attempt to move forward based on truth but being sensitive to both your feelings and those of others. As best you can, attempt to discover and address the source of the underlying emotions that appear so strong. This is the makes-sense leadership routine.

Will you always be right? No. But you will be able to rest in the knowledge that you did all you could to be objective, fair and balanced.

Like so many other occasions, this is a time for writing or recording both the facts and the feelings. If you can accurately articulate them, have them in front of you and intentionally talk your way through them, you will up your chances of making the best decision possible.

In the course of our leadership and executive coaching, clients are often facing just these very types of decisions. This is another occasion when the benefit of a personal coach is obvious.

Sometimes you can be too close to a situation to think objectively. Because it is an emotionally charged situation you entertain strong feelings. The coach helps sift the emotional content from the factual and examine each. The discussion more often than not results in new insight and a stronger case to go in a particular direction.

Does this mean that you are a weak leader who requires someone else's help to make decisions? Not at all. You make lots of decisions every day, some of them more challenging than others. It does mean you are a smart leader who recognizes that every so often a problem comes up that is loaded with emotional content and that using an objective sounding board will enable you to follow a superior decision making model that will increase the possibilities for better results. That's being a wise leader.

Why use a Christian Leadership Coach?

A quality Christian leadership coach should bring some unique strengths to your coaching engagement. If they are serious about their relationship to God and bringing that relationship into every aspect of their life, work and leadership you will be well served by them. Of course it is up to you to see if they have a level of coaching expertise sufficient to meet your need.

Having been in leadership in one way or another over many years, it is my personal belief that every Christian leader should work with a professional coach. Working as a leadership and executive coach for over a decade, I am all the more convinced. This is not a belief based on commercial intent, but one based on understanding Christian leaders and what they face. From the emerging to the seasoned leader, a huge benefit would be gained by the support offered from an impartial coach. But that is for another post.

Why use a Christian leadership coach?

The Christian coach has a high awareness of the importance of clarity. Of all people, the Christian coach understands that the truth will set you free. Driving for the truth bears huge reward. It isn't always easy. It may hurt or embarrass. It may give up chunks of emotionally held territory. But once gained, the truth has a freeing quality. It allows all other things to fall away and provides opportunity for singular focus and less distraction on those things that matter.

The Christian coach has a high awareness of the importance of ownership. The biblical order is believe, receive, become. Receiving something, adopting it as your own is a cornerstone principle of the Christian faith. Taking ownership, taking responsibility, saying "this is mine to deal with" is vital to moving forward. Without commitment there is no movement. And in order to reach goals and objectives in business, government, ministry or personal matters, we must start from a position of owning the situation.

The Christian leadership coach has a high awareness of the importance of structure. They understand that God is a God of order. He created an ordered universe. He gave principles of order. Without structure, things devolve into disorder and confusion. Christian coaches help people develop strategies, structures and environments that support success. Other coaches do that as well, but Christian coaches realize that the best solutions do not always come from referencing self but from setting self aside and referencing outside of self within the larger context of God's order.

The Christian leadership coach has a high awareness of the importance of momentum. Perseverance is a key Christian concept. If God assigns a task, we act with passion and we don't give up until it is achieved. Our God is not a God of stalling. He is a God of movement. He is a God who provides needed course corrections in order to better achieve the task. Momentum implies consistent forward movement in the face of challenge and the unknown. It implies faith that steps up to the challenge of the unknown fully drawing on all the resources of God that are available.

The Christian leadership coach has a high awareness of the place of outcomes. Whether in setting general direction or specific objectives, the Christian coach understands that God wants us to experience certain outcomes, the benefits of having followed a particular course of action. When we can be clear about where we are going and what's going to be awaiting us when we get there, it provides a motivation that attracts us forward. The way to go is clearer, the objectives more satisfying and the result of achieving those objectives so much more worth the effort.

Many of the practices and techniques of the Christian coach resemble those of any other professional coach. However, the life of faith and a vital walk with God provides certain understanding and approach that are unique to this faith-centered professional. They may be imitated but without divine intervention they ring hollow.

The outstanding Christian leadership or executive coach will probably not set themselves up as the be-all-end-all of performance improvement gurus. But if they are thoroughly professional, bring extensive experience and understanding and have that God-given gift of getting to the core of things, they will make a game changing impact on the life, work and leadership of any leader and particularly those that identify themselves as Christian. Their reluctance to exalt themselves will be more than off-set by their capacity to move you forward.