Here’s my take on it. Often we set up a hierarchy of priorities in our life. We say God comes first, family second, work third et cetera. You get the idea. Now don’t brand me a heretic for this but it seems to me that if God comes first, it implies that the possibility exists He could drop to second, or third, giving way to my putting other items on my agenda ahead of Him. And, therein lies the compartmentalization of God. God should not come first. God should be over all, well above the vagaries of first, second, third or fourth.

Sound like a sermon you’ve heard? Perhaps, but not likely. Wondering what in the world it has got to do with stress? Everything. Here’s how the questionable reasoning works. I develop the hierarchy, which has God in first place. Family is second. Somewhere down the line is me personally and all I have been given to be my best – relaxation, exercise, quiet, renewal. Obviously that is lesser than God and the things that I am doing “for” Him. Therefore when the need arises for such things around me, I will not follow up on them because the work “for” God is of greater importance, being connected with His name.

What have we done? We have compartmentalized God. We have separated Him and the legitimate and healthy care of people (and me), by several degrees. One is over the other. The other must be of lesser, if not little to any importance. The result, stress, overload and burnout, not being at our best to be available for and effective in those things that we feel passionate about.

The solution? Put God in His rightful place over all. Whatever first, God over that. Whatever second, God over that. Personal care (?) third, God over that. I don’t know what order you would place things in, but placing God over all avoids two extremes. One, we are less likely to misinterpret and say, “No matter what my family or personal needs are, I will ..” or “I am too busy being important and doing important things to care for myself (or allow God to care for me). Second, we are less likely to go to the other extreme and say, “I will forget about other things now. I have to care about me.”

To quote the Bible in this, “God over all, forever praised.” God over all; for some of you, perhaps it a time who’s insight has come.

Often we think it’s about managing segments, little chunks of time measured in hours, half hours, quarter hours or less. Then our attempt at managing our time happens like this:

• We develop a volume of things that we need to do.
• We divide the day up into more and more little segments.
• We search for better positioned segments so we can shove more things into them.
• Meanwhile, we divide all the things to do into priorities.
• Then we put 70% of the priorities in the top priority list and try shoving those in the new little segments we just made.

What we’re really doing is going faster and faster and shoving more and more in. After all, almost everything in our life is a priority, isn’t it? Then for all our efforts we slide down the slippery slope or stress, overload and burnout.

We really ought to manage ourselves and ask, “What are the vital few things that are the truly important?” Those are the things I will get done. It’s not seven out of my list of ten important things to get done. It’s only two. Maybe it’s only one. Start and do those. The others will disappear, fade in significance or step in line to take their turn as one of the vital few later on.

Until we start acting on this for ourselves, we’ll be caught in this race. Somewhere we have to break the cycle and say, “This is where it stops.” Practicing that Law of the Vital Few will make us much more satisfied, thorough and successful.

Often we want to squeeze more and more productivity out of a given period of time, so we shove other things aside, things like renewal and relationships, fostered primarily through pausing. We continue to accumulate a greater volume of things, and our body is saying, “No, I can’t handle this.“ Stress, tiredness, soreness, muscle pain, dissatisfaction and a sense of a lack of well-being become our lot in life.

Adopt the practice of timely management from the Law of the Vital Few. Take your personal best 20% as your springboard for building the future. Where in the past did I have my most success? Identify that small amount of time and duplicate it for today as much as you can. Say, “These are the vital few things that I must do now, and while I am doing those I will delegate, hold to a more appropriate time or give away to others the things that I am not able to do.”

If you are dealing with volume of time commitments placed on you from the outside, then you have to work with the issues of boundaries as well .You may have to set boundaries around people imposing on your time. Let the voice mail get the telephone after certain hours and raise a personal standard that says, “I am not going to work after this hour.”  If it’s sheer volume you may need to look at ways to do it more efficiently. On the other hand you may need to frankly talk to others about helping you. They may be in positions of authority or control to make some changes for you.

It’s not just about time management but timely management of you.

This may be one of the most common areas that executives and leaders wish to work on during our coaching engagements. We live in a world that pushes almost every leader and professional into a crunch for time. There are solutions. They don’t always come easy. People often fear doing what is required thinking they will lose ground and fall behind. But once solutions are put in place and traction is being experienced, leaders find that in fact they can achieve more, do better and actually begin to thrive.

Really, you can read all you want about time management and you can feel the stress until the cows come home. But until you make a major decision to do something about it, you will only amass literature and dissatisfaction. Take action today.

Gary Wood
G.E. Wood and Associates
Personal Effectiveness Coaching for Leaders and Executives since 1998

As an accredited member of the International Coach Federation, we are required to go through a vigorous process of renewal application every three years. Meeting requirements ensures the coach will have continued to develop professionally over time. Here’s what the document says.

The International Coach Federation is honored to confer upon Gary Wood the designation of Professional Certified Coach. The designation is earned by demonstrating knowledge and proficient use of core coaching skills through a comprehensive application and exam process designed to ensure high standards for the coaching profession and the clients it serves.

Why is this all important?

• Proficiency
• High standards

And above all …

• Serving clients.

As 2012 looks us square in the face, we are challenged with many obstacles as leaders in both our personal and professional lives. In their classic book, “The Leadership Challenge,” James Kouzes and Barry Posner encourage us to look back before looking ahead. They write when we first gaze into our past, we elongate our future. We enrich our future and give it details as we recall the richness of our past experiences.

With that in mind, here’s a brief look at leadership lessons I learned in 2011 and a focused approach for 2012.

• Do the hard thing. What does that look like for you? Switching jobs, firing a “C” player on your team, setting new boundaries with relationships that drain you, or maybe pressing the reset button on your marriage?  I did several of the aforementioned and started my own company in 2011 during an economic recession in Southwest Florida and also made some necessary, but difficult decisions in my marriage to win back my wife.
• Be accountable and teachable. One of the traps we fall into as leaders is the tendency to lose our ability to listen and receive instruction. We are looked to for the answers. Be the decision-makers. That’s how we’re wired. I have chosen to surround myself with several men who I’ve given permission to speak into my life both personally and professionally when they see things I am missing. It has helped me immensely in making decisions about business, marriage and family issues, spiritual matters and the like.
• Learn to connect with your family. Yes, I know the saying that our families need our “quality time.” I have learned this year that really means connect with my kids and my wife in the way they desire. With 4 kids, that becomes a difficult charge! I bring them on errands with me, turn off the laptop (fill in the media device here) to be present with them, laugh with them and listen to them. I took my 15-year-old son out for lunch during school on a workday which shocked him. I simply asked, “Are you happy?” It opened up a bright and colorful conversation and after 20 minutes we had truly connected. Try it with your family!

So, what’s ahead in 2012? Start with what matters most to you. What are your values? Mine are Family, God’s will, Hope, Accomplishment and Purpose. Next, plan to step away from the daily grind of emails, phone calls, financials, troubleshooting problems and find a place to think, pray, reflect and write. Start with 2-3 hours and work your way up to half or full days away. I will typically sense a word or two that becomes a theme for my upcoming year like Serve, Purpose or Focus. This coming year the word is Growth. The key is solitude-get away to reflect back and plan ahead. All the best in 2012!

Doug Poll is a Certified Professional Life Coach (CPLC) at his company called The Doug Poll Group. They specialize in coaching executives and leaders and also work with non-profit clients helping them raise money through a unique turn-key golf marathon event. He can be reached at doug@dougpollgroup.com or on his LinkedIn profile as well.

Let’s talk about joining up, starting up, volunteering, letting you name stand, registering and preparing. As a young leader you may be caught up in a whirlwind of activity. You want to be involved in everything and miss nothing. You’re eager to contribute and available to help out. But, should you be involved in everything or have you bought into a schedule and pace that is less noble than it may at first appear?

There is no doubt that we need workers. And good solid leadership is essential. But being spread too thin may do more harm than good. I think there is a better way. Do you remember Jesus parable of the talents? The master said to the servants who had made a good increase on what he had given them to do,  “Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things.” There are a few things, important things to take care of, not everything, but just a few for those who will be given more responsibility later.

As a seasoned leader I look for young men and women who stick to a task assigned and do it well. They pull together the people to make it happen. They follow through and give it their best. They aren’t off in all directions but remain focused on what they have been given to do. These are the emerging leadership who will be able to handle increasing autonomy. They will make good executive team contributors. They will be some of the best leadership of tomorrow.

What are those few things that would be best for you to put your full attention to? If you are willing many will want to shove you to the front for all sorts of responsibilities. You may need to resist that happening. I have coached many older leaders who are in overload. They share several things in common and need to make similar shifts in their thinking.

a.   They find it hard to say “no” often enough.

Shift from thinking you must respond to every need to realizing you can’t do everything for everybody who asks.

b.   They subtly start to believe they are indispensable.

Shift from thinking no one else will be able to do it as well as you to trusting the abilities and giftedness of others, and allowing them the space to grow.

c.   They buy into the thought that constant activity and busyness is a sign of higher commitment.

Shift from trying to prove something to others to passionately doing well those few things you feel are of highest importance for you to carry out.

Leaders who make things happen do so because they have developed an effective individual pace and over time proven the benefit of clearly knowing what they need and need not be involved in. They practice priority management (which is really all about self-management isn’t it). They don’t major in busyness.

What does your upcoming agenda look like? The leader who carefully and respectfully declines requests while passionately committing themselves to “a few simple things” will most likely be able to sustain a level of commitment that contributes to success and satisfaction.

Key Questions:

1. If you made tomorrow’s to-do list right now, what would the “few simple things” be, that if attended to tomorrow, would actually result in the greatest gain?

2. What are the “few simple things” that you feel compelled to be involved in for this next season? Are they in line with the things you really feel passionate about?

3. What items on your to-do list have become “a few complex, energy draining, and unfulfilling things”? What will you do about this, starting today?

Carefully I walk them through my three part program to deal with burnout.

1. Resolution – Deal with their immediate situation to reduce some of the stress so they can think straight and design a game plan for moving forward.
2. Transition – Find and adopt new strategies for the days to come. You can’t very well solve problems by continuing to do the same things over and over. And finally …
3. Continuity – Make sure the client has made transitions to new ways of thinking and behaving AND that those new strategies have taken root and become the norm.

What do clients get by walking through this simple but profoundly changing step by step process? I’d like to suggest some of the following as reported benefits of dealing with burnout that I have heard. I don’t need to make much comment on them. They are fairly self-explanatory. And they are benefits that everyone experiencing this significantly painful time in their lives would like to have. Here are just a few.

Physical Realm

• Able to start exercising again
• Back aches stop
• Weekly trips to chiropractor stop
• Panic attacks reduce to zero over time
• Get to sleep easier
• Get a better sleep – waking up more relaxed
• Have more physical energy
• Sporadic and strange aches and pains drastically decrease
• Skin irritations stop

Time Realm

• Feel like they get weekends back
• Feel like they get weeknights back
• They once again have choice about what they want to do
• More time to work on projects they care about

Relationship Realm

• More positive relationships begin showing up
• Their mind isn’t preoccupied when with their spouse – totally present again
• Their mind isn’t preoccupied when with their children – totally present again
• Time to enjoy good friends once again

Everyday Living Realm

• Feel more relaxed
• Able to enjoy a hobby if they have one
• Made some long-needed and healthy decisions
• Brought their life into line with the truths they believed
• Discovered or made more personal space – some time to recharge

Opportunity Realm

• Dreaming about possibilities again
• Got to take what they are learning and help others
• Regained the excitement of God opening up new doors

Emotional Realm

• More contentment with their circumstances
• Brighter outlook on life
• Feel like their emotional energy was being renewed
• Sense of regaining control
• Relief from the pressure of worry

Spiritual Realm

• Created the time to connect with God in prayer and the Word once again
• Began to see people (often the source of burnout) through God’s eyes
• Once again connected with God’s people in healthy and enriching relationships
• Developed a core of people who prayed for them daily
• Allowed space for God to work in grace

I think you would agree with me that these benefits of dealing with burnout were worth reaching for. I want to encourage you. Please take the fourth step in my Beat Burnout Plan … Prevention. Prevent the slippery slide into the ways of thinking and behaving that can lead to burnout in the first place. Pursue health and personal and professional effectiveness. Be proactive in the first place and you will reap the benefits that so many leaders, executives and professionals long for this very day.

Some Helpful Resources

Take my Beat Burnout Assessment.

Get and use a copy of my Guide, Beating Burnout, Where to Start.

Participate in a Beat Burnout Call.

Call me directly to discuss and get coaching around your situation.

In coaching engagements, our clients typically realize considerably more than a one percent improvement almost immediately. The point is … they are moving forward, momentum is building.

A one percent improvement is very achievable, even for busy people. One percent a month over ten months is a ten percent improvement. Ten percent is significant, isn’t it? I certainly think so.

Cast in point: The Power of Three

Imagine starting, working on without interruption and moving through to completion, the three action items each week that would make the most significant impact on moving your goals forward. This month you stay focused and practice the Power of Three for a modest one percent monthly improvement. You have managed to achieve the absolute most important things each week for a whole month.

You continue this new habit for 10 months and you have made a 10% improvement in starting and finishing the highest priority items that will make the biggest impact each and ever week. What would that ten percent add up to in new revenues, lives changed, time and resources saved and bottom or top line results?

My Challenge to You

Here is a challenge I’d like to give you.  Make a 1% improvement this week.  And then continue a simple 1% improvement each week for the next month.

What is important enough for you to make one tiny improvement on,  starting now?

A project you are engaged in?

The way you go about handling a certain routine?

Relationships that need attention? (Harder to measure, but do-able.)

Your office systems?

You get the idea.  Small steps build up over time.  Ten weeks means ten percent, and a ten-percent improvement in anything gets noticed.

If you should choose to take me up on this, don’t leave it to chance.  Track yourself.  Be definite.  Clarity leads to results.  And finally, enjoy it.  A small 1% improvement isn’t heavy and burdensome. Celebrate it.

You May Not Have Seen It – or – Are Unable to Yet to Admit It

Don’t kid yourself. Unless you as the leader are on the ball, the perpetrator will have it well hidden from you. You’re being played as a sucker, because they know how to manipulate others and suck up to you when it’s needed. You may even find yourself defending them because they’ve done such a good job of concealing their alternate behavior from you.

Could it Be Possible … You Are That Bully?

(Okay. I know the many of you are saying … “But it’s the boss who is the bully.” You have a good point. Once estimate pegs more than 80% of bullies are bosses. Bosses … wake up. If this is you, if you have even an inkling it might be you, if there is a remote chance someone would even think that of you … consider this a wake-up call.)

Otherwise let’s keep speaking with the rest of you leaders, the 20% who aren’t on any sort of power trip.

Why It Goes Unaddressed

Sure, you’ve heard rumors and some complaints, but you don’t want the conflict. You don’t want to have to deal with crappy stuff. Maybe even some of your best people have tried to warn you but you’ve put it down to ‘personality conflict’ or a tiff between them and the perpetrator. Listen … sticking our heads in the sand will never be the answer to this demoralizing, team wrecking, business destroying, bullying violence.

So terms and comments like this get used instead:

• She’s just a difficult person
• He had a tough upbringing
• Sometimes she’s disrespectful
• You need to take him with a grain of sand
• It’s just a personality conflict
• Every so often she does exhibit some poor conduct
• It will probably get better after awhile

Mamby pamby! She or he is a bully.

What is Workplace Bullying?

The Workplace Bullying Institute defines bullying as follows:

Workplace bullying is repeated, health-harming mistreatment of one or more persons (the targets) by one or more perpetrators that takes one or more of the following forms:

• Verbal abuse
• Offensive conduct/behaviors (including nonverbal) which are threatening, humiliating, or intimidating
• Work interference — sabotage — which prevents work from getting done

Workplace Bullying…

• Is driven by perpetrators’ need to control the targeted individual(s).
• Is initiated by bullies who choose their targets, timing, location, and methods.
• Escalates to involve others who side with the bully, either voluntarily through coercion.
• Undermines legitimate business interests when bullies’ personal agendas take precedence over work itself.
• Is akin to domestic violence at work, where the abuser is on the payroll.

Is it Your Responsibility?

Yes.

Who needs to have their antenna up and detect this behavior?… You … the leader.

That’s what leadership is all about. You may wish it didn’t occur on your watch. Of course you don’t want to have to deal with it. Who would? But the responsibility for leadership rests on your shoulders and you have to address it.

You can’t sweep it away because of all the legal workplace hoops you may have to deal with. Of course this type of person will probably raise chaos and report you to authorities for some kind of employer misdeeds. That’s what they do. But you have to act because it’s the right thing to do. Your people – the people you are supposed to be leading – are getting hurt. Your business or ministry is suffering even if you don’t see it. There is ALWAYS a price to pay. It will probably start with you losing some of your best people. They won’t stay in that type of environment.

What to Do About Workplace Bullying

1. Dedicate a Couple of Hours to Reading and Making Notes

Do your homework. There is an abundance of quality research and insight out there. I’m no expert. I’m just waving the flag. Get on your computer and read about it. Just search ‘workplace bullying’ and you’ll be given all the information you need to take action. Study the laws that govern your workplace. Know what you can and can’t do. Call governing authorities to understand how to proceed. Ignorance is not bliss. It is complicity.

2. Connect the Dots

Start remembering back. What’s been going on in your workplace? What complaints have you heard? What thoughts, feelings and inklings of your own have you pushed down? What’s the pattern? And what excuses and behaviors have the person named put forward. How might they be giving you a snow job?

3. Determine to Act

Unless you are willing to do what it will take to stop this bullying of your employees, nothing will change. You will be complicit in allowing it to continue right under your nose. Take ownership. Step up. Make a commitment to restore a workplace that your people are proud to work in.

4. Create a Plan

Think this through. Given all you’ve learned, how will you go about structuring discipline? How will you deal with what the perpetrator may unleash against you or others? Being prepared ahead of time allows you to be in control of whatever happens. Who needs to be involved? Who is needed to give you support?

5. Take Action

This may be the highest and best of leadership … to do what is right and what needs to be done. Whatever that is, carry your part out with compassion and firmness. Don’t fly off the handle. Remain calm. Push forward regardless of the push back.

In Summary

So much more could be said on this topic. I hope this has served to raise your consciousness to a very real problem. Back in the 90’s researchers were telling us that this century would likely have physical and emotional violence as a very real workplace issue. People are frustrated. They have all sorts of baggage and social ineptness they have never dealt with.  (I don’t want to sound simplistic here. There are all sorts of reasons for bullying.) But the point is they take their ‘stuff’ out on others.

This is where you can take your stand. What’s the right answer to any form of workplace bullying?  …  NO!

It’s a valid tactic.

Sometimes we have to have someone tell us to stop. I have told men and women I work with to ‘Stop.’ In the past, I have been told to ‘Stop.” We get in such a state of overload that we almost can’t see how we can get off the treadmill. It seems that everything must be done and done yesterday. And we keep on either allowing others to add more or layering it on ourselves. We often need someone from outside our situation to make that critical observation and intervention.

But you say, “I can’t stop.” Sorry, but yes you can. There are very few occasions when something cannot be done to address the problem of ‘too much’. You may not like the options, and you may choose to ignore the options, but it doesn’t mean they aren’t there. And it doesn’t mean that you don’t have a choice. You always have a choice.

God brought a Jethro to Moses when he was overloaded, morning till evening, spending long hours involved with people and their daily concerns and needs. Jethro wisely observed “What you are doing is not good. You and these people who come to you will only wear yourselves out. The work is too heavy for you; you cannot handle it alone.”

In other words, STOP. See with clarity what you are doing. Understand the consequences of continuing to operate this way. Find another way. This is not God’s agenda for you as important as it all may appear and as pressing as the need may be. It can be done another way. There are options. But it is a matter of choice.

I would like to ask you to pause right now and think about your own situation. Is it possible that you are doing way too much for your own physical, mental, emotional and social well being – in short your spiritual wholeness? You have to pause to think about this. Unless you take the time to reflect you will not understand the implications of what you are doing.

Do you need to STOP?

• Clarity will determine whether a company responds to changing conditions or falls further back.
• Clarity will determine whether an individual takes the steps to move forward or flounders in mediocrity.
• Clarity will determine whether the population of a country will stand up for their rights or be suppressed by an iron fist.
• Clarity will determine whether a newly married couple will move forward in harmony or devolve into dysfunction.

Clarity, is at the heart of my coaching engagements. You need to gain increasing clarity about yourself and your situation so you can take the right actions to get where you want to go and not keep getting tripped up all the time.

The Definitions:

“Free from obscurity and easy to understand; the comprehensibility of clear expression”: Wordnet, Princeton University

“The quality of being clear and easy to understand”: Cambridge University Press c. 2004

“Clearness” Roget’s New Millenium Thesaurus c. 2005

Synonyms: accuracy, brightness, certainty, cognizability, comprehensibility, conspicuousness, decipherability, definition, directness, distinctness, evidence, exactitude, exactness, explicability, explicitness, intelligibility, legibility, limpidity, limpidness, lucidity, manifestness, obviousness, openness, overtness, palpability, penetrability, perceptibility, perspicuity, plainness, precision, prominence, purity, salience, simplicity, tangibility, transparency, unambiguity, unmistakability – Roget’s New Millenium Thesaurus c. 2005

Antonyms: distortion, fog, fuzziness, haze, obscurity, opacity, unclearness – Roget’s New Millenium Thesaurus c. 2005

Three Levels of Clarity

1. Absolute Truth – Those truths that don’t change, no matter what you decide to believe about them. Biblical truth would be the perfect example. That God created men and women in His own image is an absolute truth.
2. Objective Facts – You have refused to talk with your sister for 8 years. We could talk to your sister and verify that as a fact.
3. Assumptions – This is where most people spend most of their life. You assume something to be true. You assume your sister never wants to talk to you again. You assume she is impossible to talk to. You assume your relationship can never be repaired. That is not a fact. It is an assumption.

Being clear about what you think and what you do is a critical step in taking responsibility for your current actions. Clarity allows you the freedom to design better possibilities for future action that will get you to where you or your organization wants to go.

Every effort at moving forward must start with clarity. We must start with what is … the truth. The Bible says the truth will set you free. This has been repeated throughout history. When people have heard, seen or experienced the truth, they have surged forward with new ideas, renewed passion and vigor, improved laws and approaches. The truth set them free.

Lies and incomplete truth lead to bondage. They hold us back. They can hold companies and entire nations back.

Always seek to start with truth. See things as they are. Take responsibility as the truth points to you. Be honest about what you think and how you feel. Be honest about your attitudes and areas where you find yourself resisting. Then you will be able to move forward with clearer direction, focus and distinct outcomes in mind.