Let’s talk about joining up, starting up, volunteering, letting you name stand, registering and preparing. As a young leader you may be caught up in a whirlwind of activity. You want to be involved in everything and miss nothing. You’re eager to contribute and available to help out. But, should you be involved in everything or have you bought into a schedule and pace that is less noble than it may at first appear?

There is no doubt that we need workers. And good solid leadership is essential. But being spread too thin may do more harm than good. I think there is a better way. Do you remember Jesus parable of the talents? The master said to the servants who had made a good increase on what he had given them to do,  “Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things.” There are a few things, important things to take care of, not everything, but just a few for those who will be given more responsibility later.

As a seasoned leader I look for young men and women who stick to a task assigned and do it well. They pull together the people to make it happen. They follow through and give it their best. They aren’t off in all directions but remain focused on what they have been given to do. These are the emerging leadership who will be able to handle increasing autonomy. They will make good executive team contributors. They will be some of the best leadership of tomorrow.

What are those few things that would be best for you to put your full attention to? If you are willing many will want to shove you to the front for all sorts of responsibilities. You may need to resist that happening. I have coached many older leaders who are in overload. They share several things in common and need to make similar shifts in their thinking.

a.   They find it hard to say “no” often enough.

Shift from thinking you must respond to every need to realizing you can’t do everything for everybody who asks.

b.   They subtly start to believe they are indispensable.

Shift from thinking no one else will be able to do it as well as you to trusting the abilities and giftedness of others, and allowing them the space to grow.

c.   They buy into the thought that constant activity and busyness is a sign of higher commitment.

Shift from trying to prove something to others to passionately doing well those few things you feel are of highest importance for you to carry out.

Leaders who make things happen do so because they have developed an effective individual pace and over time proven the benefit of clearly knowing what they need and need not be involved in. They practice priority management (which is really all about self-management isn’t it). They don’t major in busyness.

What does your upcoming agenda look like? The leader who carefully and respectfully declines requests while passionately committing themselves to “a few simple things” will most likely be able to sustain a level of commitment that contributes to success and satisfaction.

Key Questions:

1. If you made tomorrow’s to-do list right now, what would the “few simple things” be, that if attended to tomorrow, would actually result in the greatest gain?

2. What are the “few simple things” that you feel compelled to be involved in for this next season? Are they in line with the things you really feel passionate about?

3. What items on your to-do list have become “a few complex, energy draining, and unfulfilling things”? What will you do about this, starting today?

You May Not Have Seen It – or – Are Unable to Yet to Admit It

Don’t kid yourself. Unless you as the leader are on the ball, the perpetrator will have it well hidden from you. You’re being played as a sucker, because they know how to manipulate others and suck up to you when it’s needed. You may even find yourself defending them because they’ve done such a good job of concealing their alternate behavior from you.

Could it Be Possible … You Are That Bully?

(Okay. I know the many of you are saying … “But it’s the boss who is the bully.” You have a good point. Once estimate pegs more than 80% of bullies are bosses. Bosses … wake up. If this is you, if you have even an inkling it might be you, if there is a remote chance someone would even think that of you … consider this a wake-up call.)

Otherwise let’s keep speaking with the rest of you leaders, the 20% who aren’t on any sort of power trip.

Why It Goes Unaddressed

Sure, you’ve heard rumors and some complaints, but you don’t want the conflict. You don’t want to have to deal with crappy stuff. Maybe even some of your best people have tried to warn you but you’ve put it down to ‘personality conflict’ or a tiff between them and the perpetrator. Listen … sticking our heads in the sand will never be the answer to this demoralizing, team wrecking, business destroying, bullying violence.

So terms and comments like this get used instead:

• She’s just a difficult person
• He had a tough upbringing
• Sometimes she’s disrespectful
• You need to take him with a grain of sand
• It’s just a personality conflict
• Every so often she does exhibit some poor conduct
• It will probably get better after awhile

Mamby pamby! She or he is a bully.

What is Workplace Bullying?

The Workplace Bullying Institute defines bullying as follows:

Workplace bullying is repeated, health-harming mistreatment of one or more persons (the targets) by one or more perpetrators that takes one or more of the following forms:

• Verbal abuse
• Offensive conduct/behaviors (including nonverbal) which are threatening, humiliating, or intimidating
• Work interference — sabotage — which prevents work from getting done

Workplace Bullying…

• Is driven by perpetrators’ need to control the targeted individual(s).
• Is initiated by bullies who choose their targets, timing, location, and methods.
• Escalates to involve others who side with the bully, either voluntarily through coercion.
• Undermines legitimate business interests when bullies’ personal agendas take precedence over work itself.
• Is akin to domestic violence at work, where the abuser is on the payroll.

Is it Your Responsibility?

Yes.

Who needs to have their antenna up and detect this behavior?… You … the leader.

That’s what leadership is all about. You may wish it didn’t occur on your watch. Of course you don’t want to have to deal with it. Who would? But the responsibility for leadership rests on your shoulders and you have to address it.

You can’t sweep it away because of all the legal workplace hoops you may have to deal with. Of course this type of person will probably raise chaos and report you to authorities for some kind of employer misdeeds. That’s what they do. But you have to act because it’s the right thing to do. Your people – the people you are supposed to be leading – are getting hurt. Your business or ministry is suffering even if you don’t see it. There is ALWAYS a price to pay. It will probably start with you losing some of your best people. They won’t stay in that type of environment.

What to Do About Workplace Bullying

1. Dedicate a Couple of Hours to Reading and Making Notes

Do your homework. There is an abundance of quality research and insight out there. I’m no expert. I’m just waving the flag. Get on your computer and read about it. Just search ‘workplace bullying’ and you’ll be given all the information you need to take action. Study the laws that govern your workplace. Know what you can and can’t do. Call governing authorities to understand how to proceed. Ignorance is not bliss. It is complicity.

2. Connect the Dots

Start remembering back. What’s been going on in your workplace? What complaints have you heard? What thoughts, feelings and inklings of your own have you pushed down? What’s the pattern? And what excuses and behaviors have the person named put forward. How might they be giving you a snow job?

3. Determine to Act

Unless you are willing to do what it will take to stop this bullying of your employees, nothing will change. You will be complicit in allowing it to continue right under your nose. Take ownership. Step up. Make a commitment to restore a workplace that your people are proud to work in.

4. Create a Plan

Think this through. Given all you’ve learned, how will you go about structuring discipline? How will you deal with what the perpetrator may unleash against you or others? Being prepared ahead of time allows you to be in control of whatever happens. Who needs to be involved? Who is needed to give you support?

5. Take Action

This may be the highest and best of leadership … to do what is right and what needs to be done. Whatever that is, carry your part out with compassion and firmness. Don’t fly off the handle. Remain calm. Push forward regardless of the push back.

In Summary

So much more could be said on this topic. I hope this has served to raise your consciousness to a very real problem. Back in the 90’s researchers were telling us that this century would likely have physical and emotional violence as a very real workplace issue. People are frustrated. They have all sorts of baggage and social ineptness they have never dealt with.  (I don’t want to sound simplistic here. There are all sorts of reasons for bullying.) But the point is they take their ‘stuff’ out on others.

This is where you can take your stand. What’s the right answer to any form of workplace bullying?  …  NO!

• Clarity will determine whether a company responds to changing conditions or falls further back.
• Clarity will determine whether an individual takes the steps to move forward or flounders in mediocrity.
• Clarity will determine whether the population of a country will stand up for their rights or be suppressed by an iron fist.
• Clarity will determine whether a newly married couple will move forward in harmony or devolve into dysfunction.

Clarity, is at the heart of my coaching engagements. You need to gain increasing clarity about yourself and your situation so you can take the right actions to get where you want to go and not keep getting tripped up all the time.

The Definitions:

“Free from obscurity and easy to understand; the comprehensibility of clear expression”: Wordnet, Princeton University

“The quality of being clear and easy to understand”: Cambridge University Press c. 2004

“Clearness” Roget’s New Millenium Thesaurus c. 2005

Synonyms: accuracy, brightness, certainty, cognizability, comprehensibility, conspicuousness, decipherability, definition, directness, distinctness, evidence, exactitude, exactness, explicability, explicitness, intelligibility, legibility, limpidity, limpidness, lucidity, manifestness, obviousness, openness, overtness, palpability, penetrability, perceptibility, perspicuity, plainness, precision, prominence, purity, salience, simplicity, tangibility, transparency, unambiguity, unmistakability – Roget’s New Millenium Thesaurus c. 2005

Antonyms: distortion, fog, fuzziness, haze, obscurity, opacity, unclearness – Roget’s New Millenium Thesaurus c. 2005

Three Levels of Clarity

1. Absolute Truth – Those truths that don’t change, no matter what you decide to believe about them. Biblical truth would be the perfect example. That God created men and women in His own image is an absolute truth.
2. Objective Facts – You have refused to talk with your sister for 8 years. We could talk to your sister and verify that as a fact.
3. Assumptions – This is where most people spend most of their life. You assume something to be true. You assume your sister never wants to talk to you again. You assume she is impossible to talk to. You assume your relationship can never be repaired. That is not a fact. It is an assumption.

Being clear about what you think and what you do is a critical step in taking responsibility for your current actions. Clarity allows you the freedom to design better possibilities for future action that will get you to where you or your organization wants to go.

Every effort at moving forward must start with clarity. We must start with what is … the truth. The Bible says the truth will set you free. This has been repeated throughout history. When people have heard, seen or experienced the truth, they have surged forward with new ideas, renewed passion and vigor, improved laws and approaches. The truth set them free.

Lies and incomplete truth lead to bondage. They hold us back. They can hold companies and entire nations back.

Always seek to start with truth. See things as they are. Take responsibility as the truth points to you. Be honest about what you think and how you feel. Be honest about your attitudes and areas where you find yourself resisting. Then you will be able to move forward with clearer direction, focus and distinct outcomes in mind.

Where do you find them? Everywhere. In responsible public office. Running a store. Heading up a service company. Managing sensitive data. Navigating the boardroom. Flying the globe. Everywhere. You may be one of them.

Many alcoholics deny they have a problem. They loudly proclaim that they are in perfect control. But to everyone else the opposite is apparent. At times and in certain situations they seem to do a good job of cover up. But you can be sure somebody is suffering because of their behavior … including themselves.

Let’s be personal. That individual struggling with alcohol may be … you … It’s a huge and growing problem and in fact the alcohol controls you. Those around you all know it. You’re the only one denying it.

So if by some strange chance this simple post is a wake up call for … you … please seek help. This is not something you can solve on your own. Perhaps some of these steps will be of some assistance.

• Tell the truth. You’ve lied for long enough. You are the one who is drinking. It is your problem to solve. Alcohol controls you, not the other way round.

• Don’t lay blame, refusing to do anything about your problem because you are so busy blaming others for something. It’s an excuse. Only you can do something about you.

• Determine to do whatever it will take to solve this problem and nothing short of whatever it will take.

• Get to the bottom of it. You started drinking heavily for a reason. You must get back to causes, facing them head on, examining them carefully and taking action needed to put them to rest once and for all.

• Reach out to those who love you and care for you. Allow them to be your support structure as you do the work needed to beat alcoholism. Tell them the truth … always.

• Reach out to experts and organizations that can help. Alcoholics Anonymous comes to mind. There are others as well. They’ve been helping people dealing with this problem for a long time. You’ll find people who care and have expertise.

• Don’t assume that people will not respect you because you reveal you have a problem with alcohol. Assumptions stop far too many people from doing what’s needed. In fact people will probably admire you for the steps you are taking to find solutions.

Please, take action today. Be willing to do whatever it will take to put this struggle with alcohol behind you. We need you at your best in your home, in your business and as you lead in our communities and country.

If you wish to understand how to be the best you can be you must understand how to reach for excellence. That’s where it starts. You must have a hunger for excellence … what I like to refer to as an attitude of excellence.

That’s why, at least as a starting point, you may be your own best success coach. The desire starts with you. It can’t be artificially imported from the outside. The desire, the hunger drives you forward.

By excellence I do not mean perfection. We will not reach that this side of heaven. But we can reach to be our very best, personally and professionally. We can reach for our companies and organizations, our committees and teams to be the best they can be. That reaching is moving forward with an attitude of excellence.

An attitude of excellence is a driving knowledge that we have the capacity to do even better, that we have been created with incredible potential to do better and achieve more than we may have realized or accomplished to this point.

Desire is a starting point. You must desire to be your best. A hunger for excellence is the attitude that precedes action and best begins to put one on the path to success. It is not a hunger that tramps on others to move one’s self forward. It is an attitude that causes you to measure yourself against yourself and your past achievements and improve upon those, daily, monthly, yearly, and consistently.

If a person is not reaching for excellence in what they do, if they do not believe they really can do better and achieve more and be willing to do what’s needed to make it happen, you can be assured they will probably reach a plateau and stay stuck there for the rest of their career … or life.

Men and women with an attitude of excellence are most apt to engage a personal and professional Coach to assist them in understanding themselves and identifying opportunities for moving forward with greater momentum. They want to identify blind spots and make needed adjustments so they can be their best at thinking, carrying out their day to day work and leading others.

Of course, simply having an attitude of excellence isn’t all that is needed to be successful. You need to be clear about where you are going, assemble skills and resources to get there and do the work necessary to realize your desired outcome. You need to realize open doors when they are in front of you and seek to open them when they are not.

But attitude is the driver. An attitude of excellence will keep you moving forward while others are settling for less than what is truly possible. An attitude of excellence will keep you positive when things look like they will never work out. An attitude of excellence will give your thinking and your actions momentum while others languish.

Never underestimate a right attitude. Attitudes of excellence can lift up a whole team and propel them forward. This type of attitude leads to breakthroughs where others see dead ends. It sees problems as one step closer to solutions.

An attitude of excellence does not settle for the status quo. It is attractive, expansive and forward moving. It is simply an attitude lived out, a driving force that has caused men and women throughout the ages to do better, achieve more and thrive.

Adopt this attitude. It has moved forward countless numbers of people who have achieved above and beyond what they originally might have thought they were capable of.

We all have a sense that corporate and government wheels grind slowly as decision making winds its way through successive layers of bureaucracy. But the small business person can make a decision quickly. Do they? Often yes. But many times no.

Often hanging on to a dream, a method, a boast, an image or a feeling, the small business entrepreneur waits too long to respond quickly to reality and implement needed changes. The result is that they either run out of time or money and suffer the consequences.

Odd, isn’t it that these business leaders can make a lightning fast decision and turn their small enterprise in a new direction. They have the ability to change quickly. All they need to do is say the word. But they hesitate.

Hesitation isn’t because of outside influences so much as it is because of those internal ‘struggles’ to hang on to that dream, that way of doing things, the pride that made the boast, the image that has been put out into family and community and the feeling of control that the unfamiliar path would challenge.

Those who run successful small businesses make considered but quick decisions. They don’t let internal self-talk and feelings get in the way of taking the actions that are needed to move successfully forward.

Don’t wait too long to make needed adjustments. Be honest with yourself about what is holding you back from doing what you know needs to be done. Then decide and move fast.

Running a small business isn’t for the faint of heart. But to those who can make the decisions that need to be made, it can be a very successful, lucrative and totally fulfilling enterprise.

1. Organizations aren’t really committed.
2. Individuals aren’t really committed.
3. Personal coaching isn’t a key component.

Organizations Aren’t Really Committed: In business, dedicating people and resources to seeing someone grow isn’t as easily traced to bottom line dollars earned. This is extremely short-sighted thinking. Build your people and you will build your business. Certainly our executive coaching firm frequently uses Return On Investment tracking that makes a strong case for bottom line results from front line human resource investments.

In addition, investment in people takes work. You don’t just subscribe them to a magazine, give them a book allowance and send them off to a conference or two and think you have done the leadership development thing. Most of those in supervisory positions just don’t have the time or inclination to work consistently with their leaders. And even if they are keen, they often don’t really know how to proceed or to follow up on the individual.

It isn’t much different in nonprofit settings. Just because they aren’t engaged in profit making enterprise doesn’t mean they don’t want results. But many nonprofits are so strapped and busy that those who should or could be developing others just don’t have the time. Immediate needs take precedence.

Individuals Aren’t Really Committed: Individual leaders are often hungry to do better and achieve more. But they haven’t got a clue of how to go about it. Busyness dictates that they don’t get much time to think about personal and professional development beyond trying to keep up with the bottom line latest information they need to know for the next day.

Leadership development takes time. And months stretch into years. It’s easy to let something slide. The tyranny of the urgent dictates attention and action. Unless the individual abruptly interrupts their well established patterns and plans for a different approach, things will pretty much stay the same.

People are far more often thrust into leadership than prepared for it. They learn by the seat of their pants. Now that’s not all bad, but it is far from great for them or the company. And sometimes the results can be downright disastrous.

Personal Coaching Isn’t a Key Component: Without one-to-one, intentional back and forth that is focused on the individual and what they are attempting to achieve, there is no focused ‘system’ or approach to fostering real growth. Intentional growth takes conversation. It takes probing and the revealing of potential blind spots. It takes questioning entrenched habits and exploration of as yet unknown possibilities in behavior and performance.

The Coach can take the time to walk alongside the individual with one purpose in mind … helping them think about, plan for and act upon those things which would move them forward in learning, experience, skills and attitude.

Consistent coaching over an extended period of time may be the key missing link in most leadership development programs. With it, the individual can go further faster. In the same way that iron sharpens iron, the coach can sharpen the leader, assisting them to go farther than they might have otherwise thought possible. When that happens the results will show back in the organization.

Bottom Line. If you are going to be serious about a leadership development program, work with an executive coaching firm such as ours. We have a track record. We know what we are doing. We know how to help an individual grow in ways the benefit them and the company or organization. Your investment will be highly targeted and ROI will be real.

Additionally a seasoned professional coach can help you implement a ‘coach approach’ to working with your people. You will have a three-way partnership that is focused both on personal and professional growth and company results.

If you run leadership development programs

• Be committed. Make it part of who you are as an organization.
• Work with committed individual leaders.
• Make coaching a long-term key component of your effort

Is personal development dead? … the term I mean … is it spent, passe, overworked, past its prime, tired and in need of younger blood showing up on the scene?

‘Personal development’ – it’s a great term, you know. Keeping it alive and well certainly fits into the movement that benefits to the tune of billions every year. But with all the personal development, you’d think we’d be further ahead in our companies and communities.

Again,  could it be that a lot of it just isn’t implemented at a very personal level? Or that too few people even explore what might be involved and are content to live in mediocrity as long as their pay cheque keeps showing up? Or that industry truthfully has no stomach to encourage and inspire it?

Maybe we need a new term, something to jettison the stereotype and start fresh … something meaningful, measurable and moving. Maybe personal development should be ‘Practical Monthly Improvement’. How about that? It isn’t glamorous but it’s a workhorse of a term.

Practical Monthly Improvement implies that something is measured from month to month. It assures us there is actual forward movement. And it certainly tells us that it shows up in everyday practical ways.

What would you do to achieve Practical Monthly Improvement? (Or PMI, as we’d have to say in business speak.)

Imagine what could happen in a company or an organization where every individual from bottom to top was seriously committed to month over month improvement both individually and collectively. Where compensation and rewards were based on real practical, observable, monthly improvement? What would that look like?

You might be thinking this is idealistic nut-talk … a whole organization … come on. But practical monthly improvement isn’t corny, and I don’t care what new term you come up with if the intention is right. Maybe, just maybe if we got rid of some of the stereotypical ideas people have about personal development and how difficult it is going to be, we could move forward faster.

When we published 52 Solutions for Those Who Need a 25 Hour Day, we were committed to really, really practical action steps. Pick any ten simple practices from that book and it will probably transform the way you work and lead. Just ten.That’s what I mean by practical monthly improvement.

And while I’m at it, maybe we should require PMI as a condition of employment and leadership or running for public office. Prove you’re engaged with doing better and making things better. Your company, cause … or country … will be better for it. You’ll be more satisfied. It could develop into a way of living and working from here on in.

When being aware and being willing get turned into daily, intentional and decisive action, there is no telling what can be accomplished in a life … or a country.

What do you say my friend? Does PMI have traction?

Probably more important than talking about your problem is taking the time to define your problem in the clearest of terms. Defining is the place to start. Once that is done you will have a clearer conversation. And it will be your gut, your emotions, your feelings that will let you know how good your definition is. When it is really cutting close to the core, you know you’re probably on target.

As Dr. Phil McGraw frequently states, “You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge.” And until you can articulate whatever that area of needed change is, so that you mind and your heart are acknowledging, you will be unable to find the proper options that will lead you to the best strategies and actions to apply.

My most important task as a personal and executive coach is helping leaders clarify what the real situation, problem or opportunity is and to say that in the fewest words possible. Once that is done we know what we are really talking about and then we can come up with options that apply to the real topic at hand.

Those who are committed to personal, professional or organizational growth, clarify frequently as needed. Those who are complacent about consistent clarification continue to live, perform and lead in mediocrity.

I am sure that you probably have one problem or opportunity today that will benefit from clarity. It is the truth that sets free. It is the lack of it that leads to frustration, neglect and deterioration to whatever degree it may manifest itself.

The greatest change will come when it can be articulated in the simplest possible terms.

It’s simple really. Because they know they can always do better. In fact they want to do better and achieve more. Great leaders are characterized by consistent growth. Stagnation, the status quo, staying on the plateau, these are not in their vocabulary except to be avoided. They believe in and go after personal, professional and organizational growth.

Even though you are doing just fine right now, what would you work on with an executive coach? Where can you grow yourself and your leadership team ever further? What would you like to learn and implement to give you that edge that will translate into greater success? Have you really reached your highest and best potential in each of these areas?

People

• Managing Critical Conversations, Conflict and Confrontation
• Motivating, Leading and Developing Others
• Succession Planning and Grooming for Advancement
• Building Key Relationships – Family, Work, Community

Personal

• Time Control, Managing Stress and Dealing with Burnout
• Meaningful Contribution and Career Satisfaction
• Character Growth and Personal Development
• Changing Possible Career Limiting Behaviors

Process

• Increasing Daily Productivity and Effectiveness
• Planning, Goal Setting and Decision Making
• Fostering Significant Ideas and Projects
• Maximizing Opportunities in Change and Transition

Aware, growing leaders believe they and the organizations they lead can do better and achieve more. They are restless until they see that happen.